I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize