I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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