The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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