i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize