Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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