i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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