Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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