Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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