If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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