dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
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