Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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