He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize