then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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