i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize