People with herpes should wear stickers.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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