Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize