Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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