i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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