It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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