I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize