Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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