i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize