I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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