Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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