Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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