Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize