From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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