Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
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Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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