In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize