Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize