There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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