I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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