If i could tip my vagina, i would.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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