My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He felt like a one man threesome
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize