i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize