great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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