I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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