it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize