I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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