I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize