Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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