oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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