Sry I called you an 8
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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