Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize