there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
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Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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