If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
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He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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