Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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