Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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