God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize