So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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