Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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